THE EPONYMOUS GIT

Many are the wonderments of life, yet what contrives to make our world great is its variety.  And in human beings, this variety is personified to the highest degree.

     During a recent visit to purchase a mattress I witnessed both the best and worst traits we humans have within the space of just half an hour.

     Upon entering the modern, cavernous store I was approached by a rather rotund salesman in his forties.  Sporting a pair of heavy set glasses and cradling a stylish leather folder, the gentleman politely asked about my needs before showing me various mattresses which would maybe prove suitable.

     Deeply knowledgeable, he used a combination of technical detail and plain language to present the merits of each different product.  And although for purposes of commission he wished to make a sale, at no time did I feel pressured into making an impulse buy.

     As this portly gentleman casually led me around the store, in the corner of my eye I glimpsed the eponymous figure of The Git.  The Git has been around since time began, but with the growth of materialism in the late 20th Century, his pervasive influence has multiplied.  Tall, youthful and handsome, The Git in this instance kept a watchful eye on his colleague as the technical merits of each mattress were discussed.

     After the portly salesman concluded, he left me to my own devices to choose the most appropriate product.

      Two minutes later, homing in like a heat-seeking missile, arrived The Git.  Dressed in a sharp designer suit, his chin covered in a fashionable sheen of stubble, The Git realised I had narrowed my choice down to two mattresses.  Understanding that his colleague had already completed the hard work, he offered little in the way of detail, instead producing for me a customary coffee.

     By this stage I had decided upon which mattress to purchase, and The Git happily escorted me to the counter to receive payment.  Without thinking I handed over the cash before leaving the store.

     "Why did you do that?" snapped my girlfriend.

     "What?" responded I.

      Helen proceeded to explain how many of these large stores operated on a commission basis, and that by allowing The Git to make the sale, he appropriated the commission without doing any of the real work.

     My initial ignorance turned to anger.  For after considering the matter, I realised that over the course of a year The Git would be accredited with the highest sales.  This, in turn, would be reflective in his bonus, making him the darling of the shop manager, as well as the richest salesperson - when in reality he did not earn this right!

     The Gits allegedly 'clever' clever attitude will have alienated him from the rest of his peers, however his eloquence and smarmy charm will no doubt have endeared him to his manager, who judges his performance in sales accrued alone.

     However, my fundamental problem with The Git - and Gits like him - is that they consider their own position as paramount, to the detriment of all others.  They believe life is their own chessboard to which they play king.  Respect for others has been lost in this game, yet instead of acknowledging this, The Gits of this world simply believe their conduct is appropriate and right.

     Instead of being condemned, the values held by The Git are openly admired in today's society.  We are conditioned to believe we should manipulate everybody simply to achieve our own materialistic advancement.

     Fortunately, the eponymous 'We' in society do not all follow such a conceited policy.  The danger in the future is, however, that if the behaviours of The Eponymous Git do not lay unchecked, nothing will restrict our ego's from running wild, and people will become arrogant in their belief that they can do anything - no matter what the end result.